Philip W Holland

Nearing Winston-Salem, North Carolina, I heard the comforting southern drawl on the radio that reminds me of home, a break from the accents of the northeast which, all apologies, sometimes sound like children with speech impediments. I’m sure they say the same about us. But to hear someone say “wudder” (water) was an unexpected relief. Shoulda stopped and picked some tobacco but kept driving. Keenly feeling the entrance back into the duplicitous southern hospitality, where they would just as soon shoot you with no question.

Made it through the Blue Ridge Mountains, which is one of my favorite places to be, as long as you have enough gas in the tank, although it is for the most part out of cell range. I appreciate when the prescribed speed limit is based in reality so you don’t fly off the edge of the mountain, as opposed to a social construct based on superimposed punitive frameworks beyond real and natural consequence. Put me in an actual dangerous situation like mountain roads, and I’m generally as cool as a cucumber; it’s the manufactured fears in my own mind and the impedances brought upon me by others that drive me up the wall.

Thankful to be back moving again. Took the time to finalize things with the web store, and got the work for my brother’s friend completed. Didn’t make as much as I expected replacing the light fixture and sink sprayer, but the money transfer from Woocommerce went through and I was able to send off the placed orders from Warm Springs, VA. Spent the night at an overlook where someone told me they saw bear cubs (seeing a bear that isn’t stuffed or in a zoo is on my bucket list) but didn’t see em. I believe it though because all the ripest berries were thoroughly picked over on the trail.

Met quite a few great people up there. Lots of culturally appropriated biblical place names in Virginia. Found a bucket of freeze dried prepper meals by a donation bin, likely bought in preparation for an “apocalyptic” democrat administration which didn’t come to pass, which is how I got all the rice I brought with me. Got my first surprise venmo from a stranger that read the blog because I put the URL on my window.

Pet a dog and broke down into tears which reminded me that I am still in quite a state of grief and also severely miss my dog that I left at home. Glad to get my prescription refilled out of state that keeps my emotional incontinence at bay but things are still pretty rough. Nicolas was the only person who really understood me and stood by me (pun intended as he couldn’t stand) and I am quite alone, no matter how many people happen to be around me, sometimes even more so when they are. What’s new.

I appreciate all your support, but will need more soon. I have about 50 miles worth of gas left in the tank, and waiting for more funds that are being held by PayPal because I am a new merchant. Might be a couple weeks but I hope sooner. I have plenty of food and access to water,  but will soon need some actual coin. I haven’t yet decided whether I will brave the heat and humidity to skip across the rest of the southeastern quadrant of states or head more directly home to see the dog/mom/friend and work to make more money.

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I probably had more to say but I am tired and being marauded by mosquitos that actually itch. If you have a spare few bucks to cashapp me $philipwholland, or send to zelle/venmo to my phone number 2149096097 I would be much obliged. 40 bucks will get me roughly 400 miles, 50 can get me a dozen eggs and a bag of onions on top of that. Something something about lattes and avocado toast.

Hate to be a beggar but I’ve always been dependent on others so nothing new. This is my first “vacation” that wasn’t on my parents’ dime and itinerary so it has been a little chaotic. Always lived a life of bouncing off zero in my bank account but at least now there’s no rent.

Aside from the grieving and heat and destitution, I really have been having a great time, and had much encouragement from both strangers and friends back home. Been called a “hero” more than once which felt simultaneously false, true, odd, and wonderful. I hope to do better to live up to it.

Live carelessly pwh 07-22-2025

p.s. Oh hey this is my half birthday!